What is Love? True Relationship Grows

Relationship pyramid

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for self-improvement is build as a pyramid from lower to higher consciousness. That same pyramid is valid in all relationships that you will ever have in your lifetime, including the one you have with yourself.

The pyramid stages are : Physiological, safety, love and belonging (social), esteem, and self-actualization. Also think of transcendence (I will not discuss it here).

See what stage or stages (yes that can happen) your relationship is in so you can help it grow easily and lovingly.

Physiological:

You need intimacy or attraction (for relationship with yourself; find yourself attractive). You don’t hold out sex to be loved or to keep someone’s interest. Your gut will tell you who and when to have sex with someone. On the other end; if you are having sex for validation, know that your self-esteem and trust might suffer later on. Sex is a primal thing. You can’t keep an advanced individual with good sex. You have to step up, open up, be real and willing to grow. If you are playing games with sex, an awakened man/woman will see through your BS and your low self worth. Have sex and shake it off…

I will expand on this in the future.

Safety:

In a relationship, safety is hard to come by if it is forced. You can only generate safety within you. Be as if you have nothing to lose, nothing to prove and nothing to gain because you are good enough. Lucky is the one who gets to play with you sugarbun. Feel safe within yourself; express everything freely and listen carefully. You have to be open to listening and persist on understanding, repeat what is said to you with your own words so your understanding can be clear and there’s nothing left unsaid or misunderstood. What you think is happening when you are not around is not true at all. You might caught someone cheating on you, but you don’t have a full picture. Your fear and anxiety take over your mind and leave you no room to be compassionate.

Love:

Love = compassion for the other. You are willing to listen. You are willing to open up again. At this time, you are aware of your self worth not to deal with someone who isn’t willing to come forward with all their cards on the table. You have all you cups full and your cards in your hands ready to show your hand without fear of judgment or disrespect. You love yourself so much now, you are out being yourself. You are loving other people. You feel confident in yourself and you know you can have anyone you want. Although, there might be that one gyal/boy you know is worth one in a million. Yep that lead to ESTEEM.

Esteem:

This is that deep respect for each other’s worth, deep respect for each other’s abilities to stand alone. Both partners know their worth now (Think Queen B and Jay). They are not seeking validation from one another, but they do love each other and that’s just that; THE ONE! At this stage you are ready to be with that one person. You are ready to let go off any concepts, religious beliefs because you recognize the truth and that person’s worth and your own worth. You have other options, but you choose to pick this one; your gut/god chosen one.

Actualization:

Here you are chosen, not needed. That is when both people can stand on their own. Sex, cheating, lies, rumors nothing can break this bond. This is a solid relationship that will stand the test of time. You know you can open up to your soulmate about everything and anything. They can sense your concerns and acknowledge them. You know you will not be judge for your feelings. You are welcome and your partner will have the same desires, fears, questions as you and you both share your deepest thoughts. Here, nothing can break this bond. It is what it is. All out in the open; no games, no secrets just pure harmony and acceptance.

Everything can happen seemingly or sporadically. As long as you can keep moving up the ladder, the relationship is in good standing.

The thing that kills relationship early is the fear of loss. Nobody is leaving your A$$ if you are feeling good and safe in your own inner self. Give your relationship time to grow, but first know that you are loved just the way you are. Safety is your job, only you can provide that to you.

Any relationship can be salvage once that first attraction was established, as long as both people are willing to grow individually, but first find peace within. How can I help you?

I’m a life coach and I help people find peace within to upgrade their life to self-actualization.